Frodo called home during his lunch break today. "Don't forget that I'm leaving early to go to the dentist. Oh, and I'm going to stop at Goodwill on my way home to pee on my van."
Me: "What?! Pee on your van?"
Frodo: Long period of hysterical laughter, then, "No. EMPTY my van."
Me: "Oh, I was wondering why you were alerting me in advance to your insane behavior." (more hysterical laughter)